Single Parent Homeschooling

I don't really hold discussions about being a single homeschooling parent but I've had a few emails from other moms who are doing the same. It's so encouraging to meet other moms who are sharing the same experience especially when you feel so isolated at times. I didn't know several of us existed! Well, after thinking about it, although a little nervous, I thought that I would share some info on my blog. I believe that many veteran single homeschooling parents could share much more. As a matter of fact, there is another single homeschooling mother within our local hs group who is planning a website or blog dedicated to such. She is a veteran at this and an awesome writer who has been featured on the radio broadcast, Homeschool Heartbeart, so I know her site will truly be a blessing. I'm really looking forward to reading it.

How long have you been a single parent homeschooler?
I have homeschooled my children for five years but this year was the first year that I have homeschooled as a single parent. This year, I experienced a very traumatic divorce in which I won't disclose the details but I give God all of the glory for healing and restoring me which is an ongoing process.

How do you work and homeschool?
I have been a Registered Nurse for 14 and a half years. I had always worked while homeschooling but on a PRN or on call/as needed basis which required my working one to two days per week. I did this until the birth of our last child, my daughter. I had complications with her and my ex-husband felt it was more beneficial for our family if I remained home full time so I was a full time stay at home mom for two years. During the divorce process, I prayed that God would provide a job that allowed me to continue homeschooling. God answered my prayer with a contract nursing position which required that I work weekends so I'm able to homeschool during the week. Of course, it's by no means easy. I get tired...exhausted even but I'm determined to answer the call. God called me to do this so I know He will definitely equip me to fulfill it. He has proven Himself to me repeatedly and in so many ways. He is so faithful! As to why do I continue to homeschool, you can read a little more here. I am also very blessed that my ex-husband has been and continues to be very supportive of homeschooling since day 1.

As for our homeschool schedule or routine, we have school Monday through Thursday. Thursday nights are family nights as well since I work weekends. We usually schedule a fun and inexpensive activity on Thursday nights such as movies, games, parks etc. just anything to simply spend quality time together. We use My Father's World, a Christ-centered Charlotte Mason/Classical curriculum, as our main curriculum for Bible, History, Art and Art History, Composer study, Reading and Science. It spans a large grade/age range so I find it to be a time saver for teaching more than one child. The lesson plans are very well prepared and easy to follow. MFW is also set up to be taught on a four day weekly schedule so it works out great for us. We use Winston Basic Grammar, Spectrum Writing, Story Starters and Simply Spelling for language arts and Teaching Textbooks for math. I love that these programs are not teacher intensive yet are very strong academically and fun for my children at the same time. My preschooler loosely schools with Letter of the Week, Kumon books, and other educational toys and activities. BTW, our curriculum is listed on our sidebar.

We usually start our school day at 9am. Since working nights, I find that my body doesn't like waking up in the early morning hours as much as I use to so we start around 9 and many times at 9:30. After morning prayer, I usually have school with my preschooler while the older ones work on math or spelling. After one on one time with my preschooler, which last about 30-45 minutes at the most, I get her set up with an activity such as painting, coloring, play dough, magnetic letters on a cookie sheet, water play, educational toys, educational online games or video to name a few. Between teaching subjects with my older children, I periodically set my preschooler up with different activities to keep her occupied before moving unto the next subject with the older ones. If big brother isn't in college classes, he sometimes assists me. He's attending college while living at home which not only has been economically beneficial but really helpful to me in our homeschool. He's helpful with answering math questions and assisting with language arts whenever he's able to do so. We usually end our school day at 2:00 and our afterschool schedule consists of music lessons, sports, co-op classes and homeschool bowling, skating, etc.

How do you find time for yourself?
While I work, my children are usually with their father, my mother or my wonderful church sisters who voluntarily babysit for me. My job is a change in atmosphere so it's basically a vacation for me at times so I can't deny that I actually look forward to it. However, I do love spending time alone whenever possible and believe me, I can tell when it's time. I start to get just a little cranky around here to say the least. LOL! My oldest, in addition to some wonderful teenagers in my church, have babysat for me whenever needed. If it's simply going to the hair salon or dinner and a movie with friends, it's wonderful to get that time to myself and engage into some adult conversation. As for dating, don't even mention that word. LOL! I've experienced a few dates but I've come to the conclusion that I'm extremely cautious with my heart when it comes to men and I'm pretty set on the kind of man that I believe God has in store for me. I believe that God will bring that special person into my life when the time comes but as for now, my focus is definitely elsewhere.

Do you find it hard to socialize within the homeschooling community?
I believe that most of my friends view me in the same manner as always but I have personally found some moments of awkwardness when around several married couples at once such as dinners, events, etc. You know what I mean? I have also formed new friendships with several single mothers in my church since my divorce. People that I never really befriended or shared fellowship due to our different social circles of marriage and singleness. My very close friends are actually outside of the homeschool arena with only a few who are homeschool moms so I can't really say that I've experienced any difficulty socializing.

How do you budget?
Well, although I receive some financial support from my ex, we are still a single income family so nothing has changed in the area of finances. I still menu plan although I could be more consistent with it. I tend to cook more quick meals because our schedule is full and I'm working. We don't eat junk food, processed meats or pork so it's been a creative challenge to cook the quickly prepared foods when I have been accustomed to cooking the more intensively prepared meals on a daily basis while I was a full time stay-at-home mom. Our budget doesn't allow dining out much but when we do, it's usually Ci Ci's Pizza, Burger King or our favorite Chinese restaurant. Occasionally, I will splurge and visit our favorite Mexican restaurant. We plan ahead and save money for field trips or any outings.

As for curriculum buying, I try to find our curriculum from users within our homeschool group or from suppliers hosting sales and I love free shipping. I don't really buy "used" on-line unless it is from a really trusted seller. I had a bad experience purchasing used curriculum in the past so I would just rather not risk some things with hard earned money. I research curriculum very well before making a purchase since I can't afford to switch. Oh, I do love Amazon.com and not-so- recently discovered Half.com from another hs mom in our group. Thanks, Kristie! I buy our clothes on sale and clearance, Wal-mart is our mall and Dollar Stores are our outlets. LOL! I love thrift stores also. I have basic cable and Sky Angel. BTW, I'm very excited that The Homeschool Channel will be on our Sky Angel programming line up in January. A sweet friend and her hubby in our homeschool group have put a lot of work into birthing this project. Please keep them in your prayers. We also recently signed up for Netflix which has greatly benefited our homeschool. My gang watched the Ten Commandments tonight since we are learning this in our Bible/History. You can't beat the unlimited PC movie viewing and no late fees on the shipped movies for $8 bucks per month! I purchased Total Money Makeover just a few months ago but haven't completed it. I'm determined to finish this book this year! Some of the ideas have really been eye openers to me. I just really need to start implementing them. I don't use credit cards so if we need something we must save for it. While shopping, I always ask myself if it's a NEED or a WANT that I'm trying to purchase. That really narrows things down. LOL!

How do your organize chores in your home?
That's a good question. LOL! If you could see my home on a daily basis, you wouldn't need me to answer that one. Well, our chore schedule is the daily cleaning routine in our home but once a month, I have a thorough deep cleaning spree by attacking one room at a time...one day the kitchen, the next day the family room, the next day the bathrooms, etc. Everyone has a job or responsibility and it is expected to be completed.

How do you handle discipline?
Disclipine is still handled the same. My ex and I are in total agreement regarding the way that we discipline our children. We expect our children to honor and respect our authority and the rules of our homes. We show our children that as their parents, we are in total agreement with discipline and rules so they will never try to undermine or play one parent against the other. My ex and I addressed this right away when we separated before our divorce.

What advice could you give a homeschooling mother who is now facing a divorce?
I would simply tell her to stay on her knees before the Lord. Pray for guidance, wisdom and discernment in all matters. You may feel alone and this is definitely one of the hardest tests of your life but God is a very present help in a time of trouble and He can heal your broken heart. Divorce is not the end of the world. God has a plan for you. I still believe in restoration and God can heal marriages when both parties are totally surrendered to Him. However, if divorce is unfortunately pending , you don't have to deal with it alone. Your church can be a vital resource as for as counseling, babysitters, and overall support. Share with your pastor's wife and even seek christian counseling if needed but don't share your personal info with just everyone. Also, take care of yourself because you will need your strength for your children. Your children will need you more than ever.

From the legal perspective, retain your own attorney and don't rely on your spouse's attorney to handle the divorce in YOUR best interest. Never sign anything without presenting it to your attorney first. All documentation should go through your attorney's office first anyway. If you are able to work and homeschool, that's wonderful! I sincerely believe that it can be done whether you are working outside or even inside the home. If sending your children to public or private school is in the best interest, it's not the end of the world. You can also after-school homeschool your children. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength and you definitely do not have to endure this alone.